Joud Qaddourah was ready to give up on competitive football in 2021, until a severe ankle injury made her think differently about the sport she once loved.
“I was starting to give up on my dreams,” she told The Athletic Ummah. “And I think that the injury really made me realize that I can’t go without soccer.”
For years, Qaddourah was one of Jordan’s top female football prospects. She debuted for Jordan’s U-14 team at age 11 and captained the U-19 team at age 16. She looked well on her way to becoming a staple in the senior national team’s line-up.
But a call-up never came, and with her post-secondary career at Western University in Canada about to kick off, the medical sciences student contemplated hanging up the boots in 2021.
That’s when Qaddourah’s ankle snapped, literally. During a routine practice with Jordan’s Al Ahli Club, Qaddourah fractured and tore some ligaments in her ankle.
She tried to make a comeback after rehab and physiotherapy, but the injury was severe enough that she needed surgery in September 2022. The recovery forced Qaddourah away from football until 2023.
But as tumultuous of a time it was, looking back on it, the young footballer credits the injury with helping her mature — not just as a player, but as a Muslimah too.
“The injury really helped me know me as a person, kind of grow as a person and see who I am outside of soccer,” she said. “But at the same time, it made me really realize how much I love the sport.”
A rekindled flame
It was difficult for Qaddourah to focus on the positives at the time of her injury, and for good reasons. For one, the ankle fracture and torn ligaments were unlike any injury she had experienced before.
“I’d never really suffered an injury that put me out [for] more than a couple of months,” she said.
It didn’t help that while she was stuck rehabbing in Jordan during the summer of 2021, her family was in Canada, thousands of kilometres and several timezones away.
“I had quite a few phone calls where I was just like, ‘I want to come home [to Canada]. I don’t want to be here for the rest of the summer,’” she said.
“What really set it off for me and really made me angry at the moment, was the fact that I already had limited time to be scouted. My time was cut shorter due to an injury.”
Joud Qaddourah, footballer
That was a low point in her football career, Qaddourah said. It frustrated the young player to think she was that close to fulfilling her dream of playing for the senior national team and she lost it because of a freak injury.
It was especially disheartening because her first university semester in Canada was just months away, so it would be difficult for Qaddourah to travel to Jordan for another national team camp on short notice.
“What really set it off for me and really made me angry at the moment, was the fact that I already had limited time to be scouted,” she said. “My time was cut shorter due to an injury.”
But as devastating as that realization was, it didn’t break Qaddourah. On the contrary, she said the injury relit a fire inside of her that pushed her to return stronger than before.
“My passion is a lot higher, and I think that I could reach the senior national team level now, whereas a couple of years ago I was ready to quit,” she said.
Even without the national team camp invite, being away from the sport for so long convinced Qaddourah that life without football wasn’t for her.
“I realized that I currently don’t have the choice to play and I’m dying inside,” she said. “So if I choose to stop playing, I think that that would be a stupid decision on my end because I clearly still love the sport. I just didn’t realize it until it was taken away from me.”
Finding eman through injury
Being out of commission for so long had another unexpected benefit: Qaddourah now had more time reflect on Islam’s role in her life.
“In a sense, I do think that me not playing as much at that time, just kind of working through my recovery, it gave me more time to focus on my religious journey and my eman and where I want to go,” she said.
Like most Jordanians, Qaddourah is a Muslimah. She said she grew up in a religious family, and she remembers going to Saturday school as a child to learn more about her faith.
“We always prayed [and] fasted,” she said. “We were always in touch with our religion.”
But when she was younger, Qaddourah didn’t wear the hijab — not because she didn’t want to, but rather because she wanted it to be a permanent decision when she put it on.
“I have an opinion that if I ever start putting it on, I don’t want to take it off,” she said. “So I should be fully committed before I ever decide to have it on.”
“So I worked [on it] for a couple of years during high school — trying it out on my own time, seeing how it looks, getting comfortable with it, really changing the way I wore clothes. … Smaller steps so that it wouldn’t be a big jump towards wearing a hijab.”
Though she was working towards being comfortable in the hijab in her regular life, Qaddourah was nervous about wearing it while playing sports.
But no matter how insecure she felt, Qaddourah didn’t want to use sports as an excuse to take off her hijab.
That’s why Qaddourah believes the injury helped ease some of the anxiety of wearing the hijab in sports. As she recovered away from the pitch, she could focus more on making the hijab work in her day-to-day life first.
“I think that if I had to deal with both at the same time, it would have been harder and it would have required more eman and more strength,” she said.
“So having to do them one step at a time helped me make sure that I was doing it in a way that I was happy and confident in, but still enjoy playing and being around the sport.”
The butterflies were still there when she tried out for Western University’s women’s team in a hijab. But Qaddourah says she feels good playing in the hijab.
It helps that she now has a professional hijabi footballer to look up to in Nouhaïla Benzina, who wore the hijab during the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup.
“It no longer makes me feel insecure or it feels like an obstacle when I play,” Qaddourah said.
Back and better than before
Now 21, Qaddourah has fully recovered from her ankle injury and is back to playing competitive football.
Last summer, Qaddourah played as a defensive midfielder and a right back for Al-Istiqlal Club in Jordan. She registered a goal and an assist during her time time there.
She said she was pleased with her performance. She thinks she’s back to the level she was at before her injury.
Due to her studies, Qaddourah still can’t commit to clubs outside of the summer season. But now that she’s signed with an agency, she hopes she can take a year off from her undergrad and play a full season.
She’s also confident she can earn another call-up to Jordan’s senior women’s team, which is her main football goal.
“When you play at a national team level, I feel like you’re not only representing yourself, you’re representing a culture and representing your people and your family,” she said. “It makes you want to be the best person you can [be], the best player.”
Until then, she hopes her journey can be an example for other athletes who are recovering from a devastating injury.
“I think that injuries can be a really bad thing, but if you look at it in a different way, I think that it can be motivating,” she said.
“That perspective on my injury really is the reason that I’m striving to be on the national team again.”
Headline photo credit: Sophie Bouquillon/The Gazette